If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

I'd rather entertain people than offend them.

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.

Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.