I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they're so sweet: I'm not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I'm not. I'm gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!

I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!