Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they're so sweet: I'm not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I'm not. I'm gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.