Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.