I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

What happened? Satan was busy?

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

I'd rather entertain people than offend them.