Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.

It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.

There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."