At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.