At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.

The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.

Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.