Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don't know why, he does.

It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.

The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.