The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.

The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy.... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.

Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.

Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.