It was only a few years ago that I couldn't get hired to save my life.

There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy.

If it wasn't for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn't really have much of a show.

It's very disconcerting to have a camera shoved in your face. It's really discombobulating. If you're the least bit nervous you forget what you just said, you can't find your way through, you can't follow the logic of your own statements sometimes. It's a weird sensation. And I think that really helps to lock people in place.

Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.

I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children's birthdays too.

I'm good at asking other people questions, but I'm not really good at answering questions.