I remember my first standup act when I was seventeen; I did a really lame song about being flat chested. I was doing it in New York, and I remember Kevin Brennan, the guy I lost my virginity to, was like "That song doesn't make sense, you have tits."

People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.

The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

Sometimes loving each other isn't enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can't stay in a relationship because you're afraid of the unknown.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.