The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.

If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.

I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.

I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic.

I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.