Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.

People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.

Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.

Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.

Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'

My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"

I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.