Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.

My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.