It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to.

That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.