If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.

Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert.

You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.