I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.

This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.

I can get a script and go, "Well, I'd rather do stand-up." I don't hold movies in higher regard. I love making videos and posting. I love TV.

I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.

If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.