I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.

Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.

As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

Why would I become involved with something that doesn't include everyone? If you're getting married today, it's the equivalent of joining a country club that doesn't allow blacks or Jews.

Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.