I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

Sometimes loving each other isn't enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can't stay in a relationship because you're afraid of the unknown.

I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.

I like my life alone.

I am 39 years old, and I still wake up every morning really excited I don't have to go to school.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.