I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic.

I can see myself adopting. I'm not in a rush to do it. I'm 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I'm very good - I've got a lot of really good moves.

Some things are just for private. It's like people thinking I'm cold or this or that. It's unfortunate, but I don't need strangers to know that I'm warm. I don't need strangers to know the real me.

Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.