I think that whenever a Jew has any kind of notoriety, good or bad, the Jews find it to be good.

I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.

I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish.

If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.

I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.

I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.