I think that whenever a Jew has any kind of notoriety, good or bad, the Jews find it to be good.

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.

I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

It's just hard to say, "Well, I do this, which means this." If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.