My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"

I didn't feel so different until maybe, like, around third grade. Kids started blaming me for my people killing Jesus.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.

You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to.

Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.

I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them.