I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.

Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.

I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.

Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.

[I'm] almost positive there is no God.