We deserve quality lives with equality.

Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.

Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.

The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.

Some things are just for private. It's like people thinking I'm cold or this or that. It's unfortunate, but I don't need strangers to know that I'm warm. I don't need strangers to know the real me.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.