Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated

I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.

I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.

The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.