I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion.

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

I'm not wanting and I don't live in a hovel, but if you keep your costs low, you can do what you want to do creatively.

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.

If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.