I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out.

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.

Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.

I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it.