The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager.

I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.

The sun shines directly on this great country, and it can be harvested, it's not owned by anybody. It's something the Jews and the Palestinians share and could work together to make the whole world a better place, not just this Middle East stuff, but the whole world.

If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.

I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours doesn't invalidate it.

I'm lucky because I intentionally keep my overhead low, and so I can say, "No, thank you."