When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit [the animal's] throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since.
Sarah SilvermanI'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.
Sarah SilvermanIf you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman