Scientology is weird because it's new.

The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.

I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic.

People say, like, "I love when you smile because part of your mouth goes up," then I never organically smile again.

I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.