That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.

I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe about it. Use condoms and everything. Go with your instincts. This is the time to have a lot of sex and do drugs. But make sure you live through it.