I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful. I mean, I live in a three-room apartment. I mostly make free videos on my couch. But I am fine.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated

I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish.

I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.

I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.

The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.