One time I snuck a ball on with me and when I went to winding up, I threw one of them balls to first and one to second. I was so smooth I picked off both runners and fanned the batter without that ump or the other team even knowing it.

I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation.

If you want to live a long time, don't fool with nothing old but money, nothing big but a bank roll, nothing black but a Cadillac, nothing over twenty-two years, nothing that weighs over 130. If you do, you're in trouble. 'Cause when you're getting old and your cells gettin' low, you'll need a Delco battery to boost ya.

Avoid running at all times.

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

Smile well and often, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.