I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.

I may not be the bestest pitcher in the world, but I sure out-cutes 'em.

The Crawfords played everywhere, in every ballpark. And we won, won like we invented the game.

Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

I used to feel so bad before I got to the clubhouse, I didn't know what to do. But when I put that ballsuit on, I don't know where I got the spark to save my life.

There never was a man on earth who pitched as much as me. But the more I pitched, the stronger my arm would get.