I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.

My feet ain't got nothing to do with my nickname, but when folks get it in their heads that a feller's got big feet, soon the feet start looking big.

When they treat you bad, you just got to take care of your pride, no matter what.

If you tell a lie, always rehearse it. If it don't sound good to you, it won't sound good to anybody.

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

With women you don't have to talk your head off. You just say a word and let them fill in from there.

Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.