As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.

Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.

On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.

If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible.