Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.

There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.

There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.