I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.

I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.