No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.