There's a fine line between participation and mockery.

There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.

I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'

I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.