If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible.

For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

You can change only what people know, not what they do.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.