Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.

Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.