I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.

I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.