The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.

Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.

I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get.

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.