To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.

The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.

Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.

Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.