I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.