The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.

I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.