The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.

Some physicists describe gravity in terms of ten dimensions all curled up. But those aren't real words-just placeholders, used to refer to parts of abstract equations.

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.

I try to avoid giving advice.