The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.

As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.

If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.