The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.

I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.

The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.