The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.

A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.

In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.

There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.

Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.

If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead nor alive until we dig him up and open the casket. If he's alive, he might want his brain back, which I understand is in a Ziplock bag in some guy's freezer. And this is a perfect example of why examples always distract from the main point.