When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.

Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.

As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.