What I tell young couples that are getting married is: you're going to have quarrels, and on some things, you're just going to have to agree to disagree. And when you go to bed at night, kiss each other and tell each other that you love each other. Don't go to bed mad. Life is too short. Keep it simple.

A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find.

Vets are close to my heart, okay, and it's not only because I served, okay. It's because of what they go through, okay. A lot of these people have gave their lives, a lot of them have gave their limbs, okay, you know, that's a, that's a, that's a heap, you know.

I don't know what a person does that does not have a relationship with God. When he goes to the doctor and the doctors says, 'Hey, you've got less than two months to live and there's nothing we can do for you.' Who do they turn to when you're given something that earth shattering?

We killed our own hogs, we killed our own beef, we raised our own vegetables, which Mama canned. We did live off the land.

Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!

Everybody when they saw it, they said, "Did Willie Nelson sign your hat?" I'd say, "No, that'd be Willie Knucklehead - Robertson, OK?" We were at an event for the fans and I took my hat off and set it down on the couch, and he signed it. I said, "What are you doing, idiot?" He said, "Look, I was in the zone, and you just happened to put your hat in my zone."