When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon. And people looked at me and said, "Gee, that's like Uncle David", or "That's like a friend of mine.". And they related through that. I didn't make fun of them. I made fun of me.

If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The things I see now on TV and in movies are so outlandish. Kids doing rude things with pies! And the language that they use! It's being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous. I can't watch it. It turns me off.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

Every language has its own music.

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.