The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon. And people looked at me and said, "Gee, that's like Uncle David", or "That's like a friend of mine.". And they related through that. I didn't make fun of them. I made fun of me.

Everybody wants to have a goal - I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal. I can finally get to that goal. Then you get to that goal, and then you gotta get to another goal. But in between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed - and if you don't, you're a fool.

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.